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Girls-Only
prom …Is it one of the new paths for Muslim teens?
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Here
in the States there is this trumped-up theory that the four years of high school
are the “best years of your life.” (It’s a theory held by those for whom
the activities and goals achieved during that time take on larger-than-life
proportions.) For the rest of us though, we know this is but a few steps in the
path we travel.
Yet
those four years can be a fun and stress-filled time of personal, academic and
social growth where the choices we make dictate in small ways where and how far
we go later on. And for Muslim teens traveling the obstacle course of public
high school, the challenges are more palpable.
Having
gone through the public school system (and survived) myself, I can attest to the
mini-minefields Muslim teens dodge as they try to marry their religious and
cultural beliefs with the routines of high school life: homework,
extracurricular activities, sports, academic clubs, social dating and, of
course, school dances.
Generally
when we abstain from those activities that are off-limits to us (like the
homecoming dance or the prom), we deal with it. To be honest, I’m sure some
Muslim teens do feel left out of the hoo-ha-ha - there were a few times I felt a
bit disgruntled sitting at home while my compatriots were getting their social
groove on.
(And
perhaps that was because half of my high school experience occurred at a school
where my brothers and I were the only Muslims around. Let me tell you - having
the right friends makes all the difference.)
But
it seems that now, 10 years later, times are achangin’. Across the board
Muslim teens seem much more confident in their identity and place in the high
school scene. No longer a fringe group, they are carving their own niche and
making the various high school experiences work within their own parameters.
I
say it’s about time.
Case
in point: In Fremont, California, on June 7, a group of intelligent, fun-loving
Muslim young women staged their own girls-only prom as an alternative to the
standard school prom affair. The prom was the brainchild of one Fatima Haque, an
18-year-old senior and president of the student body at San Jose High Academy.
Haque
posted a message on Bay Area Muslim Youth, a Yahoo! news group, only to learn
that there were numerous eager teens like herself wanting to have their own prom
as a sort of farewell-to-high-school experience. The result was a rented
community center with decorations, Arab and American pop music, a lasagna
supper, and more than two dozen Muslim and non-Muslim young women in prom
dresses, coiffed hair and stunning accessories tripping the light fantastic.
Jane
I. Smith, a professor of Islamic studies at the Hartford Seminary in
Connecticut, told the New York Times that this prom was an extremely
creative way of being “Muslim in an American context. Before, young Muslims
may have stuck with the traditions of their parents or rejected them totally to
become completely Americanized. Now they’re blending them.”
Indeed,
many Muslim teens these days are forging a new path for themselves where they
adhere to the strictures of their religion while incorporating various aspects
of Western culture. It was harder when I was in school. My parents, brothers and
I walked a fine line of how involved we were allowed to be in different high
school activities.
Some
things were allowed-like participating in academic clubs, speech and debate,
attending single sex leadership meetings like Boys State or Girls State. Other
things were verboten, like dances, coed overnight school trips, and different
clubs with activities that would keep me specifically (because I was a girl) out
late at night.
Which
is why learning about what Haque and her friends in Fremont did is so refreshing
and positive. Muslim youth these days are embracing their religion in new and
exciting ways. More women are wearing the hijab where their mothers
didn’t. They bear their religion proudly and are choosing to adapt their
academic and social lives in unique ways that will make them feel a part of the
American Islamic community.
It’s
a rough road, no doubt. According to the New York Times article, the
anxiety about the pressures of American teenage life is especially keen for
Muslim parents who are trying to maintain the basics of their religion.
According to the article, “Many Muslim parents disapprove of what they see as
an excessively secularized and liberalized American culture, and are deeply
concerned that young Muslims, especially girls, not be put in compromising
situations.”
And
so a solution like Haque’s may be the ideal answer to the ever-present
problem. If you can’t go to the prom, have one of your own within the
parameters of your religion. Wish my friends and I had thought of it back then.
